An Adventure novel by 4forneveralone.Beginning with the cover I think it could be more creative and different. The name of the book on the cover is not clear so I think you should try changing it. Try for a smaller size picture with 256*400 that will fit perfectly.
The prologue was very nicely written. It gives a sense of mystery while reading it. Good use of language and vocabulary I'd say. But in the last line there is a mistake. It should be 'forgotten or betrayed. You missed the 'or' in the sentence. Overall, the prologue is very interesting and hooks the reader.
Moving over to the chapter, it was quite intriguing, different and unique. the interaction was wonderful. it didn't feel forced, it came out quite natural. I liked it. There are a few grammatical mistakes like in the second paragraph of the Homeward chapter it should be she has, because 'she's' sounds weird. The punctuations are correct as well and so are the size of the paragraphs.
Overall, it is very interesting, and as I said earlier very unique
and something different to read.
Check it out here: http://www.wattpad.com/story/4002244-left-to-di-e
-SJ
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it, and it's really nice to have some advice on how to improve; I'll definitely fix the issues. :) Thanks for taking the time to read and review my book! -Ashlan
ReplyDeleteNo problem. I'm glad I could help you out!
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