
A horror, mystery thriller by berryexplosion.
Here's what I think.
I would say the book cover is kind of creepy, it really gives a sense of horror to the reader. But it could be more better than this. I could see the word Girl in it and I can only make out one thing, the cover doesn't fit the given size. I would suggest improving the current one or getting another one.
The prologue was good too, but it could be elaborate. Giving some more detail about Ivy and Heather would make the picture even more clear. Like for example, tell the reader what is the relationship between the two and what the situation about your story is going to be like. It will just add more flow to it.
Moving over to the chapter, it was written fairly well. It could have been bigger like two or three pages since its the first chapter. There are surely some issues with grammar like commas, punctuations and dialogue tags. Also, some words are repeated again and again, replacing them would make the chapter's flow even more better. For eg: The word 'anger.' It has been repeated quite few times. Replacing it with other words like temper would be better.
But other than these, it was good. Since it's just the beginning, I cannot say much on it. But it surely has the mystery thing in it.
Overall, I think this story has a lot of potential. It just needs to be polished.
Check it out here: http://www.wattpad.com/story/5034551-my-little-girl
-SJ
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