Skye of The Damned is a Paranormal, Fantasy story by FadeFatality.
Here is my critique for it.
Beginning with the book cover, it was good, but not that great. It definitely is appealing, but given the genre of the story, it could be more better than this. It has a great opportunity to be more mysterious.
The prologue was good, intriguing and appealing. I like the idea of how the demons and angels are introduced in the story. But I would like to point out a few mistakes, in the second line, its written something like this, ' Tokyo goes haywire as life as the know it collapses...' this is a bit unclear, the use of 'as' doesn't feel right here. Try changing it. Next thing I would like to point out is, in the second last line, there should be a comma after 'one thing.'
The chapters were written really well. The flow was good throughout the chapter, I'd say, it was maintained, much appreciated! The details of shoppers was necessary and you did well enough to include them. The other details and descriptions were good too, a bit mixed but fair enough!
There are some issues with commas and punctuations but apart from that it was interesting and had that mystery thing in it as well. I'm sure, once the story is proofread, its going to be free of all faults. The length of the chapters are good too.
Overall, I think it can be a great story.
Check out the story here: http://www.wattpad.com/story/5045506-skye-of-the-damned
-SJ
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