A romance, teen fiction by hafyouseenhaffy.Beginning with the book cover, I think it was good but way too simple. Its intriguing yes, but could have been more better. Its a romance novel, so I think it could have been something more on the romantic lines.
With the prologue, I think it was very well written. A few mistakes, like in the first line, it should be sister's and not sisters and you've missed some commas as well but apart from these mistakes I think the story is really cute and original. I liked the mystery in the prologue and the romance that drips from it. In short, I loved it!
The chapter was great! I loved how you begin it just kind of drew me in and made me want to read even more. The flow is great and the details fill in the right times. The descriptions are good too and makes the scene even more clear in the reader's mind.
Yes, there are a few issues with punctuations and commas but your writing skill covers it up and they are hardly noticed. One more edit and I'm sure you'll be able to get rid of them. Your characters have a strong identity and base especially Alex. The amount of information you've displayed about him in the first chapter is enough for a reader to stick to your story till the end.
Overall, excellent story. Cute, mysterious, original and worth reading!
Check it out here: http://www.wattpad.com/story/4515430-suicide-skittles-and-skates
-SJ
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